How Social Media is Affecting Your Joy

January 28, 2019

Hey Y'all! This is Sara (& Alex)

Oh, friend. If you choose you are unable to stick to any New Year's Resolution, choose not to deep clean every closet in your home, or choose to not make your bed every morning then just do one easy thing that's keeping us way too connected to way too much every day.  I find myself incredibly surprise that at the beginning of every year there is so much talk of marking so many spring cleaning, or purging, off your list & new year, new you.  I'm there. I'm in the thick of it.  We have cleaned out our kitchen finished some long waited uncompleted projects but the best thing that we did a year ago is making this the best start to my year.  The best thing, you still have time.  To get back your happiness and enjoy the social media platforms that beg your attention.

"IN THE DEEPEST VALLEY YOU WILL FIND GROWTH"

This line popped into my mind so clearly.  It's true.  Last year we began the year afraid. We searched for our yearly word that would make us feel better. Nurture is what I (Sara) said.

Enjoy was what I (Alex) Said.

I wanted to feed everything around me and just make it bloom a little brighter by the end of the year.

Both of our "goal words" were going to be a lot harder than we thought.

BUT, how could I when we were also watching our bookings slowly make their way - but not fast enough - that made us believe 2018 would be our year.  I started digging.  I dug for the reason for a shift. We both were depressed that our work, lives, and everything we touched wasn't going to ever be better than anyone else and more importantly - we weren't GOOD ENOUGH. These honestly were lies that we told herself as I scrolled through my Facebook & Instagram.  "My work will never look like that" "Why couldn't I think to do that?" "Gosh, isn't she so pretty" "They disliked me so much they actually paid more instead of booking with us" - ETC ETC ETC.

Well, friend, We are NOT those people anymore.  I actually don't talk negatively much inside my own mind anymore and if I do - well, I do what I'm about to tell you to do.

If you choose to follow these tips, it will leave you free of guilt, free of comparison, free to create again with joy & overall feel better surfing a platform because you are doing it for yourself & your clients.

If you are a photographer like us, or a videographer like Alex & Katie or even a wedding planner, florist, anything you name it.  We all struggle with this negative self-talk we just think it's us that's the problem, and we can't fix it unless we leave social media altogether.  Which all though helps, it won't forever solve the problem unless you fix the root of the issue.

1. Eliminate the Noise from your Feed.

Seriously go through and take out all that junk that hurts your heart, makes you think worse about yourself or your work before you arrived in that little app.  Get rid of it ALL. Controversial maybe - for the love of all things STOP following the people you compare to.  Just click the unfollow button and know out of sight out of mind is going to do its work in your soul. I unfollowed Photographers, Florists, Planners, & pretty much anyone in my area that I may have loved dearly but for whatever reason with me personally, I couldn't get passed why it made me feel so bad about my work.  So, I unfollowed.  It's not personal; I'm simply trying to give myself better self-care.

2. Be Intentional & Set Boundaries

Once you have taken people off your feed that cause negative feelings it's going to make surfing social media a lot quicker (& fun again).  Don't let yourself mindlessly scroll. Be conscious of the feelings you have to the people you are viewing.  Once you have reached the mindless scrolling-get off your phone or computer!  Read a book, watch TV or grab a drink =) just always remember to do something for you. Social media doesn't own you; YOU OWN IT! When you let negative feelings creep into your life it doesn't just ruin your experience; it affects your work. When all you really just want to see friends, clients, family or in my case - lots and lots of plants. I pretty much live for #monsteramonday This is a dream you created so we should always make sure we are pouring love and thoughts into that. If anything on your feed makes you feel anything but happy, please repeat step #1. 

3. Find People You Want to Engage With

Of course, social media was made to connect people together.  This is a blessing and a curse (AMEN!) I follow friends outside of my business, family, my clients, & some extra fun accounts like Magic City Kitties to aide in my enjoyment of social media. It's for me and my business. It's not to give anyone else vanity because I am no longer living on the internet for someone else and a follower count.  If I'm going to enjoy this platform than I'm going to do it on my standards not just because I have to.  I still visit local vendor pages and be sure to connect with those I love.  I just don't want every post showing up in my feed.  Just do what makes you TRULY happy.  Maybe that's puppies, kittens, plants, food, whatever.  As small business owners, our lines with personal and business get blurred easily, and we should remember we are people behind the screen not some corporate robot.  We have feelings, and we need to protect ourselves and our craft to be sure we are living the best free life we can!

4. Food for Thought

This is my extra tip for you to think about.  In my search I found myself looking at those people.  You know ... the ones who didn't book me? Like "Who did they go with what can I do to attract them" Completely forgetting that they chose someone else because that person fit better than I had an AHA moment.  Alex was with me in the car actually.  I said "WOW, you know when you go into a job interview, and they call you back letting you know it wasn't a great fit - you actually have no way of "stalking" that person down as to why they were better" AHA SO if you do what I did last year DON'T. Write them off and know you are better in your own way and that client booked who they felt was a better fit.  Take a look through your reviews if you're feeling rough.  However, know that looking at the ones that could have been will do nothing but make your heart sting.  We don't want that.

We are finally in 2019. 2018 actually became the BIGGEST year we had... It didnt look good this time, last year. But the bookings came, our follower count actually got higher, and we get more engagement. All because we post what we love, we follow what makes us feel good. Yeah, it hurt to unfollow some of our friends but after a few weeks, it was such a sigh of relief. We ended the year with such a clear vision on who we are, what we do & the people we're doing that for.  It's 100% because we changed my social media habits. 

I created boundaries to protect my heart & my creative nature - and man-oh-man did it pay off. We want to help you have that feeling too.  So you can focus on the things that make you happy and ignore all the noise that is so frequently intruding into your mind and heart!

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